Is music the marker of memory?
Plus a grateful tribute to a very special album.
What is music for? What biological services does it supply that makes it universal and essential. Music transcends geography, ethnicity, culture, religion, education, wealth, even time. All populations have needed to make music. Always.
I don’t know the answer(s) and I don’t feel much need to. The magic of some mysteries is in the mystery.
But my personal connection and needs for music can still surprise me. This week a tweet from the singular-voiced Tracy Thorn popped into my feed and I was transported 25 years back in time.
Walking Wounded
It is a Monday in May 1996. I am driving to work, with my curious, wide-eyed, baby son in the back. I bought ‘Walking Wounded’ by Everything But the Girl on Saturday, but I haven’t heard it yet. The car is my music time. A time to sing harmonies to my favourite songs - loud, proud, heartful, heartfelt.
My love affair with EBTG is already over a decade old. Their resurgent popularity driven by Todd Terry’s remix of Missing from ‘Amplified Heart’ has given a new sheen to my fandom. And an anticipation - where will their trip-hoppy, electronic, DnB exploration now take them?
I am very excited.
My journey is 20 mins, I approach my Institute and signal left. But I don’t take the turn. I keep driving. Along the straight smooth open road, in rapture. On and on I drive until the album ends, 30 minutes later. I start it again and turn back towards work, arriving an hour late. (I am a PhD student, so no patients suffer from my delinquency)!
The soundtrack of my summer
That summer ‘Walking Wounded’ was my constant companion. I was walking wounded myself, for one reason and another. The album became my hiding place, my soulmate. In the graphic memories of my 1996 self, it is Tracy’s words I am singing. In black and red.
The CD cover came off on a sun-shocked afternoon as I tried to open it one-handed with my son on my hip. My careless over-playing caused scratches and glitches, so I bought two new copies – one for home, one for the car, so I need never be without it.
It was a summer of miracles – my son changing daily. I remember the beauty of his transformations with joy and warmth, but without detail – the memories have the gorgeous hues and definition of a Turner painting.
But when I remember singing to EBTG, the snapshots are Daliesque, vivid, meticulous, hyper-real. I don’t know what this means, or what it says about me. But without a soundtrack my memories are only vague.
Time-travel
Not all music etches my mind this way. The language of my memory is a particular combination of lyric and melody. The following ‘Walking Wounded’ lyrics remain powerful gateways back through time.
Before Today
“I don’t want your history
I don’t want your stuff
I want you to shut your mouth
That would be enough”
Single
“I’ll put my suitcase here for now
I’ll turn the TV to the bed
But if no one calls and I don’t speak all-day
Do I disappear”
Flipside
“I’m supple, brittle, pig in the middle
There’s resilience inside my face
But sometimes nothing
Deep space”
Good Cop Bad Cop
“And this used to look half-full
Now some days it looks half-empty
And some days it feels like nothing
It always used to feel like plenty”
There is a theme here I was unaware of, Before Today……
I hope my benediction will encourage you to listen to ‘Walking Wounded’.
But if you have time for only one song, let it be this one.
Happy 25th birthday ‘Walking Wounded’.
Thank you for the memories.
Yours hopefully,
Nazneen xxx
Yours Hopefully is a weekly experiment in living hopefully. With science and song. Why not subscribe and get a post every Sunday in your inbox?
Hi Nazneen, I'm not familiar with EBTG so I gave your recommend WW a play and it shows where you have drawn your musical inspiration from 👍 the video is unusual though watchable. Hope you have a good week ahead with science and a song or two in your every step. Best wishes. Denis ❤️
Thanks Denis. I think you will like EBTG - Amplified Heart in particular.